Greater Than Yourself

We all strive for personal goals on a daily basis, some minor and others of great importance. I can be described as an individual who "goes hard", meaning I spend the majority of the day pushing for the next big thing in my life. The problem is that an individual can spend their whole life setting and accomplishing goals, but never crossing paths with an event that is greater than themselves. By "greater than yourself", I am referring to something bigger than your individual efforts and accomplishments. Example, If you were witness to a 1980 hockey match in Lake Placid or the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960's you were privy to something greater than yourself. Events of such magnitude are far and few between in this cynical world, which leaves many of us disconnected. That being the case, It is up to us as individuals to create moments of humanity, build bridges, and lift those around us. Lately, there has been a great push to use business as a solution to social ills, but it is not quite the same as the faith and effort of the masses. I strive daily for success, but am always looking for something greater than myself. We all want to belong, connect, and make a difference; it is only human. The obstacle that most of us encounter is the belief that selfless acts take away from our ability to be successful. But I am hear to tell you that feeding the human spirit with acts of benevolence will only strengthen your character and recharge your batteries. As an individual, you come out stronger than when you went in, now that's success.

Why Struggle not to Conquer

We struggle with our fears, insecurities, relationships, work/life balance, and etc., etc. There is always a struggle, momentum in one direction or the other that has to be adjusted. The defining difference being an individual's perspective of their struggles, some are a part of daily life and are accepted as such; others require more of us. But why do we struggle? Preparation for something better. Essentially, you are getting in shape to conquer greater goals in life; the mistakes,revelations, loss, and moments of triumph are practice rounds for the grand stage. There is one thing that I feel must be avoided in life and that is regret. It can be applied to a number of situations, but in this case it is the regret of not giving it your all. At mt funeral, the individual giving my eulogy will at least have this much to say," Here lies a good father, husband, brother, and friend. He went balls to the wall at every opportunity." Make sure someone can say the same thing about you.

Big and Tall Fashion Series

Gentleman, I have received some attention as a Big and Tall man who loves to dress. Yes, there are people interested in what you are wearing. No, it was not for laughs. And yes, the series will continue. I think it is a great thing and long overdue. It gives us the opportunity to see how other Big and Tall men are dressing and their thoughts on fashion. Every non-Big and Tall man can pick up a magazine, turn on the TV, or the internet and glean inspiration for their next ensemble. As Big and Tall men, we do not have that resource. We are all flapping in the wind, left to figure things out on our own. Well thanks to Amber Ileene, the spotlight has swung over our way. She is a good writer and presents the plight of the Big and Tall man well. Their will be other Big and Tall men featured in the series to give you a well-rounded taste of the emergence of Big and Tall Fashion. The link to Amber's blog is below, bask in its glory.

Adventures in Round Brown...http://amberileene.blogspot.com/

Banana Republic

In an earlier post, I mentioned checking out the online stores for Macy's, Target, and the such for larger sizes. Well add Banana Republic to the list. The site caters more to the "Tall" of Big and Tall, but carries up to a 44W. I am 6'5" and have just purchased a pair of Relaxed Dawson Chinos (picture right) with an inseam of 34, which is hard to find in anything stylish. They offer up to 36 in length for individuals taller than me. The chinos had a great feel and are relaxed through the thigh and leg opening. A good majority of Big and Tall men have larger thighs than the average man and these pants fit very well. Banana Republic can stretch your wallet, but I purchased the pants for $39.99. Of course with tax and shipping, the total cost is going to hover around $50.00, but it is well worth the cost for quality pants.

To be leader you must first follow

I have always had an entrepreneurial spirit, but I did not begin to truly strike out on my own until later in life. Through my formative years (which never end in my opinion), I focused on sports. As I aged, my focus was non-productive i.e. women, partying, and all out debauchery. What I came to realize is that your clearest thinking will continually pervade you when clouded in non-productive behaviors. So when the smoke cleared, I had an immense desire to create something viable, but no real plan. So I sought out those who walked before me, a mentor. I followed this man and attempted to absorb as much as possible about life, business, and politics. I came to realize that I have always found someone to emulate and always will. Some of you might think that will always make me a follower, but you would be naive to think you arrived on your own accord. We are all an accumulation of many different people, whether negative or positive. As we grow older, this continues. The difference being we are better able to choose who we emulate and for what purpose. It is not following, its borrowing and making it your own. It is the only shortcut that won't compromise all that a person has worked for, so choose wisely.

The Start

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)

The idea for Maxwell Christian & Co. came to me in Feb. 2007. At the time I only had visions of making some clothes that would fit. That eventually morphed into the idea of an apparel company that serviced various areas of the Big and Tall market. Today, I am preparing to launch my first clothing line, a brand of tee shirts. It has taken more than 2 years to get to this point, but had I not started this would be a different story. Many of us have had "the great idea", whether social, financial, political, or a combination thereof. The majority of these ideas never leave the drawing board; some feel things have to be perfect to start, some over-analyze, and others are afraid of failure. Do you know what I fear? Not trying, to look back and see missed opportunities and regrets is what I fear. To be an old gray-haired man whose life was a safe bet from beginning to end, No Thank You! Failure is a part of life, but before failure you will come across numerous opportunities for a solution. How far are you willing to go to succeed?

Twitter inductee

Just recently joined Twitter and have no idea what I am doing. It is comparable to attending a formal dinner and not knowing what fork to use first, but way less stuffy. Fortunately, there seems to be plenty of guidance on the net and I have come across some helpful Twitterers. I am pretty excited about the possibilities of being social in the moment as opposed to more stagnant social networks. Though a bit apprehensive at the amount of time Twitter could consume, not sure if there are enough hours in the day. Are you on Twitter? How do you manage?

Meet me at Macys.

Gentleman, looking for some classic styles?
Check out Macys.com. Since Macys is not considered a mecca for larger sizes, inventory sits and is discounted to your benefit. Take for example, the blk heritage sports coat by Ralph Lauren pictured to the left, retails at $285.00, currently selling at $199.00. If you have a girlfriend, ask her about Macys rewards and watch as the clouds part. Given the right strategy, you could purchase the sportcoat for well under $150.00, plus free shipping. The coat is available in larger sizes and will never go out of style, money well spent.

Burlington Coat Factory

Check out the Burlington Coat Factory in North Riverside, large selection of men's clothing. It will take some work due to the racks and racks of clothing, but my true clothes whores will be up to the challenge. If you are not in the mood to comb through the piles of clothing(literally), head towards the back left.
I have yet to visit the remaining BCFs in the area, so if you know of one that caters to the big-bone men, please speak up. We need as many resources as possible. Also, can someone please come up with a new moniker for us. I am utterly tired of "Big and Tall". Once again, if you have any suggestions, I am all ears.

Ebay

As you endlessly scour the internet and local retailers for style, try Ebay. As an accessory aficionado, Ebay has become quite the oasis for me. They have categorized appropriate clothing as "Big and Tall", but don't let that limit your search. I have found some great finds among the ordinaries (and I say ordinaries due to their lack of extroidinary stature) such as socks, ties, scarves, hats, tee shirts, belts, and the so on. Rather inexpensively priced from trusted and not so credible sellers, so beware. It is a human built, human powered system, so do your homework to curtail shady transactions. If you find something worth mentioning, take a pic and send it in. I would be more than happy to post it.

The new blankie

Oh how I miss my blankie, so warm and snuggly. I never felt alone as a child. Fortunately, as an adult I have my cellphone. Cellphones are the adult version of a blankie, security in the palm of your hand. As you sit on the train or basically anywhere in public, notice the amount of people on their cellphones. Are they really in demand or do they not want to be perceived as being alone? I have done it before, searched for someone to call. How about you? Have you found yourself pulling out your cellphone to mask that lonely feeling? Possibly on a train or even at home? Have you ever seen the cellphone effect in action? Watch as one person pulls out their cellphone, then another, and another, and so on...like drones. I have a tendecy to become attached to my cellphone and also to detest it...depends on self-time. I set it down when I have not had enough time to myself, which is usually more times than not.

Philosophy II

For some, adhere to these words and you will thank me..."So many people tiptoe through life, so carefully, to arrive safely at death." Or the more personal version being," I refuse to tiptoe through life just to arrive safely at death." The former describing many people and the latter being what many aspire too. Whatever the reasoning, to never challenge your position, nor turn your back on fear, limits the scope of a person's existence. When it is all said and done, life is essentially a culmination of moments, whether good or bad, they will be what is remembered as we take our last breath. It is up to the individual to ensure that breath is not of regret, but of contentment. It beckons to the small measure of recklessness needed to live an unlikely life.

Socks

When it comes to clothing it is a woman's world. Go to the mall with the wife or girlfriend and prepare to hold her purse while she trots from store to store. As men, our style options are limited. As far as business attire, I hope you are not afraid of tight spaces because there is no room to break out. My closet is like a box of 64 crayons and I still look like everyone else at work. One area of relief is socks. Yes, socks are our saviour. Ok, a little dramatic, but socks can add a nice twist to any ensemble and/or be a means of expression. Where to find socks? Try Ebay, Marshalls, Macys, or any other discounter. If you wear them, they will come.

Getting Older

I just recently turned 31, as of Jan. 26th of this year. And I know many of us have negative feelings about getting older, but it has been an favorable experience for me. I am thoroughly enjoying growing into my own; the confidence, the knowledge, the patience, the stability, and the desire to make everything count. Oh, one more thing, the weight! For years I hovered between 250 and 300 lbs. Now, I float between 245 and 254 lbs., a much smaller fluctutation. It has definitely improved my outlook on purchasing clothes. If you know like I know, 20 lbs. is a size up, which makes purchasing a shirt difficult. I would literally have two wardrobes, smaller Karleton and larger Karleton. Now, its stable Karleton, which allows me to spend a little money on clothing that compliments my frame. This getting old shit isn's so bad. Of course, I could do without the gray hair, but Walgreens has me covered.

Philosophy

Lately, I have become a fan of Stoicsm, specifically Roman Stoicism. By definition, stoic is definied as one who is seemingly indifferent to or unaffected by joy, grief, pleasure, or pain. Which leads some of us to believe Stoics as being boring, emotionless individuals, but this is far from the truth. Historically, Stoic practice is to enjoy life, but to not be controlled by its pleasures. Drink and enjoy, but do not become a drunkard. Eat and taste, but do not obssess about food. Stoicism, as it seems, is about control of oneself as not to be controlled by worldly temptations, grief, pain or some other arbitrary power. Additionally, Stoics were devout believers in having a sense of joy and tranquility. I will speak further as my own awareness and practice deepens.

A Big and Tall Tree

Most of us have taken part in nonsensical quizzes that pose questions asking,"what type of animal are you?" And of course most of us relate to lions, tigers, and bears, OH MY! Anyway, I relate to something different, trees. And no, I am not a squirrel, but I do have an affection for trees. Trees have seen us come, go, and start over again. Very stoic in nature, a stalhworth, yet poetically giving life. Imagine what an old, large oak tree has survived and saw in its span of life,

yet speaks nothing of it, just continues to support and give. Trees are free from what ails us, selfishness.

The pics above are of a picture that hangs in my office above my desk. Notice the tree stands alone, no need for the security that compromise and assimilation brings. Live Free

Ironically, she said it best

Consider this, as spoken by Jane Hirshfield," fear, habits, and laziness conspire to keep us comfortably within the familiar." Now, the familiar could be many things, but whatever it is it never changes. And we all know what that state of affairs leads to....nothing.

Bigger than Life III

In continuation of my last post, much of what holds us back masquerades as something enjoyable or deserved. Take for instance women, very enjoyable, but can be a hinderance when overindulged. One woman can be considered an enjoyable experience, maybe even two depending on the of girls. But to spend your day calling, dating, talking, ogling, and chasing women is an unproductive day. When it is all said and done....Judy, Sarah, Jenny, Megan, Janet, or whoever does not compliment your resume nor benefit you in any other manner than the notches in your belt. When you consider the time and energy spent on such endeavors think about how useful it would of been in some other area of your life. Don't get me wrong, I love a nice butt and a smile just as much as the next man, but not more than my goals.

Bigger than Life II

Ahhh...I am back. I apologize for my absence, but some things must give way so others may flourish. My last post, "Bigger Than Life", revolved around living up to your potential, which might be difficult if you are not a far seeing man. There could be a number of reasons as to why a person has limited insight. The individual could be shallow, engrossed in negative behavior, a mental defect, fearful, or whatever. Take me for example, I have always played party to negative behaviors as well a past that has weighed heavily on me for years. It makes it damn difficult to live up to your potential and be bigger than life under those circumstances. One thing that helped tremendously was the ability to see further than the next hour, day or week. The farther I began to see the more I recognized that I am my own worst enemy. So what gets in your way?